Jacked Mormon Prefers Strawberry Shortcake I Guess…

Yes, I dated a Mormon and things were interesting to say the least.  He was my second boyfriend and he was a few years older them me. One of my friends was dating his best friend so naturally in high school you pair up so that no one gets left out and so that everyone has a make out buddy.

That summer was fun, full of off roading in the Mormons Jeep, trips to the drive in movie, and adventures at the beach. But lets just say that it is a good thing that it was just a summer fling. I was dating a jacked Mormon, you know the kind that say they are Mormon but don’t exactly act like it. I don’t think that Mormon’s are supposed to take you off roading in a random field that is either government property or possibly a some farmers land. I don’t think that a real Mormon would encourage you sneaking out of your parent’s house at the age of 15. And I certainly don’t think a real Mormon would allow you to spend the night at his house out of wedlock. I was certainly not dating a real Mormon just one that chose to go to church every Sunday and forget everything he was taught. He was definitely a jacked Mormon.

Now your probably wondering why our relationship ended? Our religious view being one of them, our age difference being another (he was 18 and had just graduated high school), we really didn’t have much in common being another one… oh and he fucked strawberry shortcake.

You see every summer his friends plan a huge beach trip and they bring BBQ’s, trampolines, and everyone camps out on the beach. Here I was helping him unload his Jeep and I spotted a gross looking bra wedged in the back of his Jeep.  This bra wasn’t even cute, no padding, no support, no lace, and definitely not something you would pick up at any respectable lingerie store.  To top it off pretty sure the tag said “strawberry shortcake.” Great. I knew the Mormon liked robbing the cradle but this is ridiculous. This was literally a child’s bra. Out of complete disgust I threw it at him. He told me he could explain. I listened but the words flowing out of his mouth didn’t even make sense. Nothing was adding up and reading between the lines I just knew he fucked strawberry short cake.  As more and more lies flowed from his mouth, I decided to play nice and pretend like I believed him because I was now stuck with him and his friends for the entire weekend.

Putting on a fake smile and trying to have fun seemed nearly impossible. I couldn’t wait to get home and the second I did, I told him I knew he was lying and broke up with him. What’s he doing now you ask? Well he got married at 20, had a child at 21, and got divorced at 22. My advice to you, don’t date a jacked anything.

Photo cred: google

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