I’m a CrossFit bitch. At least that’s what Penny calls me — “You’re a CrossFit bitch.” And when you say it you have to put emphasis on every syllable and say it kind of quickly with some attitude. She seems to think that people who go to CrossFit have to tell everyone that they go to CrossFit and how cool CrossFit is. I am not denying it it is kind of a weird little cult and kind of has its own weird culture to it. And I am not denying that it isn’t some revolutionary science that is changing the world. More like it is a cross between Olympic lifting and circuit training that is well branded with a beautiful fitness bow of blood, sweat, and tears.
And well, amongst this blood, sweat, and tears I was somewhat hoping to meet a man that didn’t mind my 6am side pony, no make uped, rolled-out-of-bed-ready-for-a-workout face. I definitely had my eye one someone. He was a bit short for my likings but buff as hell with some tattoos that you couldn’t quite see due to his sleeves covering them… but the curiosity was killing me.
I go to CrossFit with my friend Mini. She’s a CrossFit bitch too. We now had a secret mission to meet my man. We decided to go to a Saturday morning class and he was there. Did I mention I am awkward? Umm yes, what do I say to him but “I broke this machine,” as I get into the back extension contraption. True statement, but not the best way to hit on someone. Mini and I ended up chatting with him a bunch after our class and went to coffee with him and the Fighter (wait till you read that story). After deciding to do a second workout, Mini, the CrossFitter, the Fighter, and I hung out for about two more hours at CrossFit AND then we went to Red Robin to continue the evening. We literally just hung out with them all day.
Plan perfectly executed? ERRRRRRRRRR WRONG guess who now likes Mini. The CrossFitter. Am I bummed? A little. But moral of this story: A girl can’t be mad at her friend because she “stole” a man. If a man can be “stolen,” then he wasn’t the man for you in the first place. Do I think it is slightly ironic and somewhat discouraging? I sure do. Am I going to bitch about it in a blog post? Sure am, cause I’m a CrossFit bitch.
A few weeks later… I did indeed wait to post this. My reasoning? Well, the CrossFitter reads my blog from time to time. We are actually pretty good friends now. Mini and I thought it was just to soon to reveal the truth about the whole situation. As she became more comfortable with him she decided to tell him… How did she tell him, you ask? I told her that she should just read him my blog post….and that is precisely what she did. About two seconds after she read it to him, I got a phone call of them both laughing hysterically.