The Douchebag, the Married Man, and the Old Man…. Three Strikes I’m Out

Screen Shot 2014-03-26 at 4.23.51 PMThis encounter happened a while ago but it is pretty darn funny….

It all happened at a country music festival. I was truly on a quest that day. I decided I wanted to meet someone new…. I was also about four Jello shots deep and had a beer in my hand. I had been eyeing this guy that had his shirt off. I know that screams douchebag but I thought he was hot and hey it is a music festival things get a little crazy right?

Soooooo, I did that tap on someone’s shoulder and make it seem like it was someone else, even though it is pretty obvious that it was the person who tapped on your shoulder. He then turned and looked at me and I grinned and looked at him.  We started to flirt/chat when non-other but this other super cute guy comes up and start chatting with both of us. SCORE two cute guys! This is awesome. The shirtless dude then says he has to go find his friends and that he will come find me later. Sounded great to me until….

Immediately after the shirtless guy left the other cute guy said “You can’t talk to him he is a douchebag.” HAHA I mean I guess I called it. I then asked why out of curiosity. He then said “He has a little girl and is a terrible dad.” WHAAAA OMG that I can’t do. I mean an asshole can be fun to hang out with for one day but having the fact that he was a terrible father in the back of my head I certainly couldn’t do. Good thing I had a another cute guys standing right in front of me…. or so I thought.

I am chatting with this cute guy and he goes “I think you and my wife would get along great lets go find her.” I truly didn’t see that coming! This guys was super nice and I think he was just kind of looking out for me in a way with the shirtless man but talk about bad luck!

So later that evening we are back at my friends campsite and this lady (maybe 35 or 40ish) goes “You’re single omg I have to introduce you to this guy.” Slightly excited I was eager to see what kind of dude she was going to bring me. She walks over this 35 or 40ish man…. who is short… balding… hairy…. and well kind of gross. What is going on here! I felt like I had to be polite. I was staying with my friend in her campsite and she was with a bunch of family friends and I didn’t want to disrespect anyone by completely rejecting this guy…..

He sits down next to me and starts asking me about my hobbies and we are just chatting…. then he gets out his wallet and wants to show me a picture of his kids…. he has twins that are eighteen! EIGHTEEN! I am literally twice as close to their age then I am his age…..




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