So there is this thing called Tinder. Most of you have tried it or at least heard of it. I find it pretty entertaining. Some of you might have read my last post about Tinder…. Left. Left. Left, Right, Left… The Battle to Find Mr. Right. It is extremely hard for me to take this thing seriously… I LOVE when I hear about love stories that actually blossom out of Tinder… it is absolutely fabulous BUT my experiences have been very much the opposite. Here are my top ten Tinder moments…. some are ridiculous, some are funny, some are gross, and some I can’t quite believe really happened…
Ps. These moments are a combination of ones I (Cheesy Legs), Mini, and Halfrican Ginger experienced Needless to say they did not all happen to me directly.
1. Great first impression… all it takes is once sentence and I would love to fuck you…
Then we decided to mess with him… Mini matched with him too so when he messaged her about 30 minutes later she sent him this.
2. Should I date a tree? Seems to have better manners then some of the Men on here.
3. Why would someone only post a picture of their body??? And then when you ask them for a picture of their face they don’t want to give you one… that just SCREAMS catfish! Do you think girls are dumb? Maybe your just looking for the dumb ones…. well this guy wouldn’t send his face to Mini or me.
Ps. He never put one up….
And when I talked to him… same damn thing!
4. This story is kind of funny… and I forgot to get a screen shot of it. BUUTTTTTTT literally the butt man… the virgin. Remember him? The virgen who wanted to put it in my butt yes that is the actual name of it. Well I saw him in Tinder. I swiped right more out of curiosity than anything. Apparently he was over my butt. Butt being the person the I am and loving to make things awkward, I texted him and asked him how his Tinder game was going. He said not to bad and ask me how mine was going. I pleasantly responded with a “not too shabby” and continued on with my day. I thought that was going to turn into more of an interesting conversation butt oh well. THEN he matched with Mini. And he sent mini a message with an emojii of a ring. So I texted him again and was like “You want to marry mini and I don’t even get a swipe right?” He responded by saying that he wanted to take her out and I continued to nag him for pure entertainment, pestering him about the fact that he wanted to take her out to dinner and I never got dinner. Then I called him out on his about me section on Tinder… it read “down for a good time.” He is not down for a good time though! He won’t even have sex? Isn’t that what that means? I mean I am down to have a good time picking blue berries or watching a movie but when you post “down for a good time” on the biggest slut app int he world you are literally asking to get laid. “You aren’t down for a good time you wouldn’t even have sex with me all you wanted to do was put it in my butt, thats not a good time.” I think I caught him a little off guard with my bluntness. He then responded saying he just wanted to see if I would do it…. at least he is sticking to the same story… butt I don’ t know if i believe him. Ps. He never took mini out… she was a little weirded out by the fact that the virgin wanted to stick it in my butt.
5. This may be the love of my life. I would love to marry coffee 🙂
6. Really again with the perveness????
If a girl doesn’t respond several times she doesn’t want your D’s. Capital, lowercase, or the one hanging off your body that controls most of your brain!
7. I had another guy ask me “Wanna get down?”
I responded with “Like boogie?”
He then said “What are we in the 60s?”
I replied with “Ya! Meet you at the sock hop”
I was excited about he time warp… he was just excited…
He didn’t respond after that. THE INTERNET IS NOT SAFE PEOPLE! STRANGER DANGER. I am sorry I don’t care where you met someone, online, in person, at a bar, at a library even. I would never just go to someone’s house that I don’t know… let alone drive 3 hours to get raped… let alone drive 3 hours to get raped from a guy I met on Tinder….
9. Sometimes I just love to point out how we are socially constructed to view gender differences and how hypocritical we as humans can be.
10. Oh buckle your seat belt for this one….. I caught a TINDER CHEATER. Well kind of. I didn’t catch a guy cheating but I did certainly catch a guy on Tinder who has a girlfriend. This guy messages Halfrican Ginger and says “Your one sexy lady” (yes he did misspell you’re, I guess I am not the only one… you can probably find a million of those in my blog) She giggled and showed me the cute guy that messaged her and I was like OMG I think that guy has a GF. I have only met him like three times but I am crazy good at remembering faces. It took like 400 seconds to remember his name but when I did I certainly looked him up on Facebook And he definitely did have a GF. She sent him a message back saying “Your GF says hi” and he blocked her. I then messaged him on Facebook and the conversation went something like this….
And in case you can’t read the little thing below Karma… it says “yup it’s like that!”
And I am very temped to Facebook message him this blog post… what do you all think?