Yes this is for all the men out there the ones who are curious about this little orange-flamed app called Tinder. I do claim to be a Tinder expert but seriously I am no REAL professional. I just read a lot about Tinder, use it a lot, and usually get all my friends to try it. I have watched many girls swipe left and right and this is why I am a self proclaimed Tinder expert. So here it goes…. my advice to all you male Tinder users. The ones who AREN’T just looking for hookups. You don’t have to be looking for relationships either, maybe you just want to meet people, or go on a few casual dates. But this how-to is not for the one night standers.
1. Your pictures
Now who ever says looks aren’t important stay off Tinder. This app isn’t for you. But that being said you have to put your best foot forward. Actually think about the pictures you are selecting. I can’t count the number of times that I see a blurry shitty picture and I literally can’t even tell what color hair you have. Why in hell would you do this? This irks my last nerve. You can’t find a picture that doesn’t have resolution from at leas this decade?
Secondly, selfies. Just don’t use them. When I see a guy with a selfie I almost NEVER swipe right. To me it just screams I have no personality and spend too much time at the gym. Spending too much time at the gym isn’t a bad thing but when you are taking selfies at the gym then you are probably not a boy I would want to get to know. Also if a gym selfie is amongst the best pictures you have of yourself that also tell me you don’t have many interests or friends or hobbies. Other girls might think differently on this one but thats my two sense.
Thirdly, don’t use pictures where you crop people out. I just think its tacky. It’s not bad to have a picture with someone else so why would you try and hide someone. This just makes me think that it might be a picture with an ex, which is just awkward. Just find a different picture.
Now that being said, picture with other people are just fine but too many people that’s a problem! Then we have no idea who the hell you are. We want to be able to spot you, and easily. I would limit picture to 3-4 people max then it is just hard to figure out who is who.
Also don’t have a picture with a ton of girls. THIS DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK MORE ATTRACTIVE. I don’t get why guys do this. I have talked with my guy friends about this and they think that if they are standing next to a pretty girl it makes them look better. It really doesn’t, it looks posed and not like something you usually do…. or something you do too often.
Now your are probably thinking you told me all the photo’s I shouldn’t put in but you didn’t tell me the ones I should. Well here you go. One good picture of you smiling. One good picture of you being active. One good picture of you with friends. One good picture with an interesting hobby (don’t get to obscure on this though, it should be a conversation starter not something that should make someone swipe left). Lastly, a picture of you and a puppy. Yes I said a puppy. It doesn’t have to be yours but I can tell you I almost always swipe right if someone has a puppy and it’s a great conversation starter.
2. Your Bio
Too long screams that you are weird. But nothing makes you seem a little boring. Girls actually read these things unlike you boys out there. Put a quote, music lyric, hobbies, or life motto BUT put something.
3. When you use Tinder
Be open minded but actually think about who you are swiping. I can’t tell you how many guys I have talked to who say they just swipe every girl to see who matches them. Think about this in a bar? Would you really go after every single girl in the bar? I would hope the answer is no… Think about girls you actually want to have a conversation with.
But also don’t be too picky. Not every girl that you like will like you back, tis life. But play and play often. The more people you have swiped the more likely you will have
4. The conversation
Don’t be being. You don’t have to have hilarious pick up lines or anything special. But 9 times out of 10 if you say Hi, how are you. We will respond with the same thing and then the conversation will die. The end. Say something about a picture of us, something in our bio, or ask a random question. Let your personally shine through, because honestly us girls get a lot of matches and if we don’t click with you in the first few messages we may not respond or just decide to talk to someone else. Not to put the pressure on but keeping us talking for the first few messages is key.
And here is one of my biggest pet peeves on Tinder. Don’t have your first message be about our looks. WE MATCHED ON TINDER! OF COURSE YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE APP. TALK ABOUT STATING THE OVIOUS. If you want to compliment a girls looks on then make is specific and don’t let it be your opening line.
5. The meet up
There are three types of girls on Tinder and I have been all three at one point or another. So here is how you deal with all of them.
There are ones that use it purely for entertainment. They either just want to see who they match with, send funny things to guys to see what kind of responses they will get. These girls have no intentions of meeting up but you can usually spot them in the first few messages.
The second is the girl who is so busy that she doesn’t want to sit and bullshit around with a conversation that could be completely irrelevant if you have no chemistry in person. There are people that you can have a great conversation with and then in person it just doesn’t work. Usually when I am super busy I would still love to meet people but I don’t really want to have a whole conversation at risk of wasting time if later we don’t get along. This might sound mean but sometimes I would rather just meet for a quick cup of coffee or something and just see how your demeanor is. This girl will usually respond to your messages but will take forever. The conversation never really dies but never really takes off. If you suggest hanging out and skipping the whole online small talk and she bites she falls into this category. IF A GIRL DOESN’T RESPOND AFTER YOU ASKED HER TO HANG OUT GIVE UP. She doesn’t want to hang out. Move on. Find someone else.
The third girl is the one who wants to get to know you before she decides to hang out with you. I again have been in this category. Ask her questions, anything that comes to mind but avoid anything sexual. Most strangers do not want to talk about sex with a stranger… and if you do then well this entire post probably isn’t for you.
Now you have distinguished which girl you have and you are making plans with her…. it doesn’t really mater what you do from here. But don’t suggest something that makes you all alone with the girl, like I mean no one else in sight. Take us to coffee or drinks or somewhere public. Do not suggest to go hiking in the middle of the woods we will probably stop talking to you in fear of getting kidnapped.
And for here guys it is all up to you. Have fun 🙂