I recently stumbled across a blog post called 6 Reasons Why it Sucks to Be Single and although I had to agree to with some of the reasons, there are also many reasons why it is completely awesome being single. Coming from someone who has literally been in a relationships for 10 years of her life, 5 of which was the same guy, I feel as though I have a little insight on this subject, AND considering the fact that I have been single for the last year. It has taught me so much that I am very thankful for.
So here are my reasons why it is awesome to be single.
- The Holidays Are Much Cheaper
Every year, my boyfriend of five years, Dumb Dumb, would get me a really awesome present. He would spend 100+ dollars on me. Then I would spend the same on him and proceed to get each one of his brothers presents and his parents. Pretty soon I was broke. Every year. Even though I didn’t feel I had to buy his whole family presents, when I dated Gnomeo, I still visited his family for the holidays and plane tickets aren’t cheap. So what did I do instead of spending hundreds of dollars on a boyfriend at Christmas time?
I backpacked around Belize with my best friend. Can I get a two clap! CLAP CLAP!
I know a lot of single people would view this as a negative or something that makes them crazy nervous. But I love dating and you should two because here’s why. You either get a lover, a friend, or a great story. In my eyes all of which are positive outcomes. I share with you all my awkward/crazy encounters…. do you really think that I was happy about things not working out with the New Yorker? Or do you remember when I sort of had a crush on three different guys from my CrossFit gym… all of which became really, really good friends of mine? Or that time when I decided to put myself out there and write my number on the back of your photo copied face and nothing happened? I am thankful for my short term lover, my great friends, and my funny stories.
- Not Having Kids, a Husband, or Responsibility
When you have kids you have to put them first. Running around playing taxi, chef, hair dresser, seamstress, coach, tutor, therapist, and boogie-monster killer. All of which you have to do at all hours of the day, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, and for richer or for poorer. There are no days off, there are no breaks, there is no pause button. The same goes for your husband. Why do you think our divorce rate is so high? This shit ain’t easy! And if you have a boyfriend you are trying to work your way toward that much responsibility. I am 24 and have four married friends. All of them love their husbands, but have told me numerous times that they are jealous I am single, that they are jealous of my freedom, and jealous of my adventures. When you have responsibilities, you can’t just decide to drain your bank account and go to another country. Well you could…. but that might end your marriage. I have the rest of my life to be responsible and put others before me. If you’re single, enjoy your freedom.
- You Have WAY More Free Time
When you’re in a relationship, you waste so much time trying to do everything together and doing things you don’t actually like to do. You watch movies you hate and hang out with his friends that you may or may not like. You participate in work functions or school functions that may or may not be boring as hell. You spend time with his family, which hopefully doesn’t make you lose your mind. You spend a lot of time waiting for him– whether it is for dinner or to carpool together to go to an event together. You waste time arguing about everything under the sun and half of the time don’t even remember what you were fighting about. And most importantly of all, you waste hours in the winter time shaving your legs.
- You Find Out Who You Are and What You are Capable of Because You Have More Free Time
I used to be so caught up in being the best girlfriend that I forgot to be the best me.
When I was in serious relationships, I did have goals, but I was constantly distracted from them. In this year of single-dom I have been able to leap and almost fly past goals that I have always had, but had not had the time to focus on. Reaching your own goals in life will give you so much more fulfillment than any relationship and if you feel unhappy, then focusing on yourself is your first priority. I have more hobbies, more career aspirations, more friends, and more passion for life than I have ever had before, all of which make me very happy. We can’t just decide to be in a relationship, but we can decide to be happy. And chances are if you aren’t happy outside of a relationship you won’t be happy in one either.
- No Guilt
Because you can be selfish, there is no guilt. You don’t have to feel guilty about having guy friends. You don’t have to make excuses as to why you decided to get drunk last Friday night. You don’t have to explain why you want to go visit your friend across the country. You don’t have to feel guilty about not checking in. You don’t have to feel guilty about forgetting his birthday, or his mom’s birthday, or his cat’s birthday. You don’t have to feel guilty about deciding you just don’t want to hang out with him today. And you don’t have to feel guilty about moving or staying late at work or ordering takeout.
I tried to find out if women are happier in relationships or single. After doing a tiny bit of googling (which I would like to call research) this is what I found. According to this article, women aren’t unhappy because they are single but because society doesn’t approve of their singleness. I have to completely agree. When I get down about being single, it’s mostly because I feel as though I am supposed to have arrived at a certain point in my life, as if being in a relationship was some sort of sign of maturity. But then there are those times where I have friends constantly trying to fix me up or ask about my love life and when my answer is less then amusing, they somehow equate it to me being unhappy.
It is fun, freeing, and completely awesome to be single and all you silly singles out there need to appreciate it!