Thats me! 5’9″ and voted best legs in high school. Proud wearer of heals and walking through life with her head held high. Where does the cheese part come in you ask? Oh you didn’t ask? Well I’ll tell you anyways. My first word was cheese, I love cheese, and I’m pretty cheesy when I write. When I love things I LOVE things and when I hate things I have sarcastic undertones and babble on… enjoy reading.
You will be seeing much more of her. She is a real person and my newest business partner for my blog. The new look? You can thank her? The awesome photo shoot of me? Thank you Hafrican Ginger again. Her name is pretty self explanatory but for those of you who are like whaaaaa I don’t get it… She is half black and has red hair. Now I bet you feel dumb. Anyways she is kind of my alter ego. She has the bootay I could only dream of and confidence that lays somewhere on the Kanye West spectrum minus the idiot part.
My ex boyfriend that I dated for 5 years and have a few unbelievable stories to tell after discovering the entire truth about him. Click here to read this story. Why is he named Dumb Dumb you ask? So recently, well over the summer to be exact, I read Chelsea Handlers book “My Horizontal Life.” Great book, very unlike my own life, which is probably why I find it so funny. In the book she nick names her roommate Dumb Dumb, and through out the entire book she calls her by Dumb Dumb, she does not once called anything else. This is when I decided that everyone in my blog needed a nickname (well I decided in the original blog) Instead of referring to him as my ex, I would call him Dumb Dumb, it was perfect. Perfectly ironic because Chelsea Handler hated her roommate, she was clingy, stupid, insecure, but kept popping in and out of her life. Not saying that my Dumb Dumb will be coming in and out of my life but I still think it is a perfect nickname.
This is the girl that Dumb Dumb cheated on me with for a very extended amount of time. She is very young looking, very small, so I think that I will call her Baby. Dumb Dumb used to ALWAYS call me baby, or babe, or hunny, or sweet heart, or what ever pet name he could think of. I HATED it. I was always like, can you call me by my GOD DAMN name sometimes. He probably called all his other women those names in order to keep them straight.
He was in the original blog because he was a guy that kept popping up in funny situations and stories. Needless to say I dated this guy for about a year and your probably wondering why he has this nick name? Well he is an extremely charming man, the kind you have to watch out for. Well this Mr. Romeo also had an extremely goofy side of him and collected garden gnomes. This collection was much larger then any 25 year old man should have and where his nickmake comes from. It’s the cross between a garden Gnome and the ever so charming Romeo = Gnomeo.
He was like 6’5”, had broad shoulders, dark brown hair, big white smile, blues eyes, and looked very handsome in his tailored suit and the man I thought I was going to marry for about a day. But seems as though he didn’t like my smashed photo copied face. It just wasn’t ment to be. Pretty sure a man who likes a smashed photo copied face is on my must have list.
This guy sure can rock a pair of boots and a cow boy hat. Was this a southern gentleman or just a wanna be? Considering his little cheating scheme and girlfriend swap, I don’t believe we will be going swing dancing any time soon. Appears in the post The Cowboy.
She is one of my best friends. Why is she named penny? Well because she has collected Pennies sense she was little and now has jars and jars of them. She first appears in the post The Bunny Boiler.
Amanda also appeared in The Bunny Boiler and was a crazy bitch but don’t judge her for what she did to her ex, we all are a little crazy, she just acted on it.
Clearly not a real mormon… his morals were way off base. He slept with strawberry shortcake! Appears in the post Jacked Mormon.
Luigi, Blondie, and Batman
These are all good friends of mine and will probably appear through out my blog. Luigi and Batman were given their names because that is what they were for halloween. Blondie… is well blonde. The three of them appear in the post Luigi’s Christmas Present to me? “I’m gonna help you get laid”. Batman also later appears in his own post…. oppies daisy.
The doctor is very sweet. He was the first blind date I have ever been on. Cupid tried to hit the doctor for me but missed. Cupid usually misses. The doctor appears in the post Cupid can’t aim.
She is one of my best friends. I have known her since 1st grade and she LOVE to try to set me up on blind dates. She usually scares the guy off before we actually get to the date part of the blind date. So then I am left with a stranger… knowing too much about me… because Cupid decided to tell him my life story. Cupid also likes to pretend she is my personal dating assistant. When we hang out she will sit there and play Tinder for me and start conversations with like ten guys… then get frustrated with the online dating scene and go back to talking about how I should be with one of her husbands friends.
Mini is one of my best friends and she was Mini Mouse for halloween. I think halloween costumes can be very fitting for people’s personalities. For example… I was the Mad Hatter one year. Mini is small, sweet, and sassy. She is also occasionally Mini the Man steeler but I love her all in the same.
He is buff and sweet. Perfect combination… for Mini. He appears in the post I’m a CrossFit bitch… bitching about men.
The New Yorker
He lives in New York and sends me Pterodactyls sometimes. He’s not old fashion he’s prehistoric! Have to read the blog post to get it… but sometimes I feel like in an alternate universe we will one day find each other and fall madly in love.
Cute Guy at the Coffee Shop
Enough Said….He is a cute guy from the coffee shop and I keep running into him. I hope one day I actually talk to him… maybe maybe not.
He wanted to whatttttttt???? And he is a Virgin????
My Knight in shining armor? NOPE Mini stole this man again.
Is his first name and Bear is his last name.
He is our CrossFit Coach… oops my bad. Don’t worry mistakes only happen once.
I dated this guy for a couple of weeks and he really does kind of look like Fabio. He has long hair, is super sexy, he is Canadian and has this foreign way about him. He was really sweet but I guess the hair was too much for me…
It’s a good story… and he had pretty eyes.